The End of a Decade: A Retrospective

I started writing this last December, when all the Decade in Review pieces were floating about, but kept putting off the overwhelming challenge I had given myself to choose one - and only one - photo from each year of the 2010s. But here I am, better late than never.

Obligatory Rant About My Struggles To Keep Up With Blogging
Warning: alarming over-use of the word “struggle” follows.

The truth is, I have such a love-hate relationship with writing. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even actually love it but more love the idea of it. It was always the only thing I did “well.” Inspiration comes so rarely, and when it does, I struggle to harness it, to keep it around. I also struggle to find my voice, a cohesive tone - who am I even writing for? To say “myself” isn’t entirely true - that would be more of a private journal, which I also like the idea of, but never follow-through with either. No, I’m writing for whoever is reading; but then, it’s such a mix of audiences. You don’t write the same thing to your mom as you do to your distant relatives as you do to your best girlfriends. I like to gush about stupid things, be sarcastic, gossip about celebrities, talk about politics, make fun of pretentious things like art, but also try to understand things like art… I just feel like none of these things fit in the same blog. So then, I don’t end up writing. But every year I find new hope, and can’t bring myself to cancel my blog subscription.

End rant.

The 2010s were full of a lot of highlights; it was a ten-year period in which a lot of amazing things happened. Post-college life began, I went to grad school. Also, things happened that I romanticized so heavily to the point where they really didn’t seem realistic at all: meeting a man who seemed too-good-to-be-true (and still is!) and actually marrying him, moving to a new country, learning to communicate in a new language, traveling to (and for a brief period, living on) a different continent, giving birth. These are big Life Moments. I became an adult in the 2010s, for whatever it’s worth - because I do still feel like I’m waiting for the Other Maturity Shoe to drop sometimes. Were there low-lights? Of course. But I’ve decided this is a Best-Of piece.

Instead, I had fun looking back through photos, trying to pick out ONE from each year. THIS IS INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, as we all know in this age of constant photography. In the end, the choice came down to trying to show a little bit of variety - so many different kinds of things happened, often within the same year. I’m mostly going for a nice array of representation of the decade, as a whole.

2010

One of many concerts of our 2009-10 experience. I think this was interpol at sunshine theater in abq.

After college graduation (2009), I moved to Santa Fe to room with my best-bud Denise and live out our ultimate post-collegiate single-gal fantasies: crappy jobs we’d only work for a year, crappier boyfriends, spending our semi-disposable income on nights out-on-the-town and destination concerts (Kings of Leon! the Black Keys!) and eating out pretty much every night (we could have had a restaurant review blog). It was a whirlwind year of fun female friendship and lessons learned (some harder than others). I wouldn’t give up that year for anything. (I love you Denise!)

2011

tailgating the unm-nmsu football game with my best bro. Don’t remember who won - or if we even made it to the game - but the before-party was fun!

The following year, I decided to ditch the post-uni crappy job for post-grad at UNM. I rented a house with Jeff who was college sophomore at the time and took a gig as a graduate assistant - which would lead to meeting Mat! The day this photo was taken, Jeff and I actually tried to attend a house party at Mat’s place (not knowing him beyond being a student in my class!) but we showed up too early and thought we had either the wrong place or the wrong time. Really we just didn’t understand that the foreign exchange students’ notoriously crazy parties didn’t get hoppin’ until way later. Aha! (Apparently we missed out on a good one.)

2012

A gorgeous canoe trip along la rivière bonaventure in bonaventure, qc. my river guide man here managed to cap-size us in some rapids! i forgave him though… i mean look at that face.

It was REALLY hard to choose just one photo for this year. It was the year Mat and I started dating, but also the year I completed my first half-marathon - a huge personal accomplishment. Though I had to go with this photo, because it really was a big year for our relationship. We had our first “date” that January (a camping trip where Mat notoriously admits he was “testing” me and my ability/willingness to be outdoorsy…ha ha) and then survived long-distance communication for the better part of the year; we also enjoyed two whirlwind trips that I made to Québec (my first out-of-the-country ever!), once in summer as pictured above, and another that December, where we would have a big conversation about our next steps, when I hatched the idea of doing a year of my master’s at a university in Montréal.

But that summer trip was amazing and this photo says it all. We road-tripped, we ate seafood, walked along the beach, swam in the clearest (and coldest!) rivers and got accidentally high on some cookies we found in the freezer (he had some fun-loving roommates). I also fell in love with Québec, and even more with this hilarious, smart, handsome French Canadian. After that trip, it was really hard for me to imagine any future without both of them. (Though I had a ton of neurosis around things not working out! My mom likes to remind me that when I came home from that first trip, I said, ever-so forlornly, “I don’t think he likes me as much as I like him.” Haha!)

2013

A Montréal Baptism: Boréale, poutine and la banquise.

If 2012 was hard to choose a photo for, this was even harder! (In fact, it gets increasingly difficult each year. I take too many photos… or else, too many interesting things happen?) This was the year I moved to Québec indeterminately, but ultimately, forever. I had managed to arrange with my department at UNM to do a few semesters at Concordia. Yes, I had chosen Montréal because Mat was there - but I was determined not to make it all about him. I’d always wanted to study abroad and things had just never fallen into place. I was ready for an adventure! More than wanting to give our relationship a chance, this move was about opening up a new perspective, too - moving to a different country with a different culture and language and new experiences. Facilitating this leap with studying abroad gave me something for myself - something more than moving somewhere for a guy.

There are tons of photos of us from this year - we camped all over beautiful Québec, went to concerts and festivals and made wonderful new friends. But I chose this photo because it’s just me - something that I was hell-bent on keeping in mind when I embarked on this adventure. It was so important for me to keep a sense of myself - to make friends of my own, to have my own apartment and roommates, and to build a life that was mine but that included Mat, instead of creating one around him. (It worked to an extent, but the challenges of living in a world operating in a different language does a number on your ability to be independent! I’ve found my place, though, slowly but surely.)

The night of this photo, I was with my friend and roommate Jessica (who snapped the shot). We’d actually met in Albuquerque and she had also decided on a Montréal adventure for herself, having moved a little before me. She helped me so much that first year, to get oriented and to introduce me to people and the city. This was my first night out on the town and we went with a classic combo - Boréale beer and poutine! - at a staple diner in the city, La Banquise, beloved by tourists and locals alike. I would end up taking all my out-of-town visitors to this spot over the years!

2014

a lucky gal right here! photo snapped at our week-end-long wedding reception. the best party we ever threw.

As I said - more and more difficult to choose just ONE photo! I mean, I feel obligated to go with a wedding photo because that WAS the event of the year (of the decade really!). But it was also the year that I left Québec, solo, to wait out my permanent residency application period of “up to 18 months” puttering around Europe by way of Ireland. Two super huge things! But I went with the wedding photo, because, well, it was a the thing that set the Europe trip in motion in the first place.

It was the most fun weekend ever, our wedding. I had my closest family and friends come up from the States, a ton of Mat’s extended family was able to make it, and all our best friends, too; we piled into a giant chalet in a gorgeous region of Québec and danced, ate, drank (and drank!) the weekend away. We’ve said a few times how we should do a reprise, maybe for our 10th anniversary. (Though I guess it will have to be a touch more kid-friendly!)

2015

what more can a caption really explain it’s the eiffel tower coming out of our heads!

This was a big year - in 2015 I returned to Québec from my self-imposed Euro-exile, my permanent residency came through, Mat and I trained together (more like in parallel) and ran a half-marathon; we went to some fun summer festivals, we moved apartments, my dear childhood friend Allison came to visit. There were a ton of photos to choose from, but I went with this one because it was also the year that my little bro and I did an epic Eurotrip together. Berlin - Amsterdam - Brussels & Bruges - Paris - Dublin. The ultimate sis-bro trip. The stars aligned for this one to happen - not sure if we could have planned for it if we had tried. It was a once-in-a-lifetime, everything-fell-perfectly-into-place kind of arrangement.

2016

prancing beach-style in Santa barbara, california

The front half of 2016 was a bit rough - the job hunt was starting to feel like it would last forever and any progress I made seemed to be met with a lot of steps backward. This frustration culminated in a much-needed break (escape?) to the States at the start of summer. For a few weeks that June, I hung out with my mom and caught up with old friends in New Mexico, road-tripped through Vegas and onto the Bay Area where we visited Jeff’s new hometown, and soaked up the sun down the coast of California on our way back to NM. It was a lovely trip and a much needed respite from the frustrations of the Montréal job market. When I returned home, it was only a matter of weeks before I would finally (finally!) land my first “real” job in this new country, and things started to fall into place. Mat and I were training for a full marathon that year, though a last-minute opportunity to travel to Cuba with some girlfriends threw off some crucial training runs for me and I ended up opting for the half-marathon, while Mat was able to complete his full!

It was another big year of setbacks and accomplishments, hard to pick just one photo. But I really love this one - it was a beautiful day spent with my mom on a trip that served as a wonderful reset to my year - which turned out to be pretty great in the end.

2017

I had about six contender photos for 2017, which was the year Mat completed a huge career shift - choosing to quit the engineering field and go back to school - chiropractor school. It was clearly a momentous and life-changing decision, that moved us from Montréal to Trois-Rivières. The picture above was from the summer before he officially moved. We had found an apartment there and taken my mom who was visiting us in MTL to check out the new place and new town. Mom snapped this series of photos at a local TR microbrewery. I wouldn’t move there until the following spring, which meant we spent the next 8 months living 1h45min apart! Better than separate countries, but still no fun.

That fall, I became pregnant with Benji, and also got promoted to director of the non-profit where I worked. It was tough for me to leave Montréal - it had only been a little over a year since I finally landed the job and was feeling inspired by the new possibilities opening up. I really grew to love the City of Montréal, as well, and I do still miss it. Though, Mat was tired of the metro area after his 10+ years there. Turns out I love him more than Montréal. :)

2018

i feel like this picture could win awards. From left: bleuenn, benji and éléonore, all born within a month of each other.

Obviously! Our first-born makes the year. And really, any photo I could have chosen would have been a Benji photo - the challenge here was which one of thousands?? Seriously, I don’t have any photos from that year that don’t feature him; it truly was the event. And to top it off, several of our friends had babies all within months of each other - it was a real Baby Boom in our circle!

Other notables of that year include our first family road-trip, through New England around my birthday and Benji’s first airplane trip where he and I went to New Mexico for Thanksgiving. Oh, and also there was a fire in our building that, thankfully, damaged nothing and hurt no one, but threw our lives out of whack for about 6 months as we were displaced three times before finding a suitable long-term solution; through all of which Mat was trying to keep up with his gruelling school schedule, I was trying to transition back to work after maternity leave, all while caring for our less-than-one-year-old baby. That was kind of a nuts period! Glad that’s over with.

2019

We finished off the decade with a pretty good year - I found a good job in our new town after having taken a temporary gig out of a bit of fear and desperation coming off maternity leave and having to surf the job market once again, and we found a new apartment after our fire-induced uprooting. Both my parents made summer trips to Trois-Rivières and Mat went on a sailing trip with friends who were returning up the East Coast on their way back from a year-long nautical voyage.

My post-partum experience gradually improved after some difficulty feeling guilty about going back to work too early. I generally continued to feel more and more like my old, pre-pregnancy self again, finally getting back into exercise and training for a 10k - where I won 3rd place! (A truly unexpected bonus.) We also did a big California trip to visit my brother, which was epic in many senses of the word - we had some awesome experiences, but also Benji was incredibly difficult and made the trip a little less agreeable for everyone. But we wouldn’t take it back! (When is traveling with a 14-month-old ever a walk in the park, right?)

We spent our last weeks of the decade with the family in New Mexico. We stayed in an Earthship in Taos, had a spa day in Santa Fe, and soaked up all the culture one can find in a well-made margarita; though we didn’t realize it would be our last trip there. As of Summer 2020, both parents are moving from NM to embark on new adventures, effectively ending our 16-year stint with the Land of Enchantment as our homebase.

What a decade it was! It was only fitting that it would take me more than 6 months to cap it off, amiright?